Your parenting scorecard

How do you know if you’re on track as a parent? In so many areas of life, we can measure progress easily. At work, we use OKRs, KPIs, and quarterly goals. For our health, we track things like weight, strength, or steps taken. Even our finances have clear indicators like savings and investment returns.

But parenting? That’s a whole different challenge. It’s one of the most important roles we play, yet we’re left with almost no tools to measure how we’re doing. Most of the time, it’s just a gut feel, where “success” feels like making it to bedtime with minimal meltdowns.

Today, I want to share a simple idea for tackling this. Here’s what we’ll cover:

• Why parenting feels so hard to measure and why that matters.

• A simple “Parenting Scorecard” you can use this week to get clarity.

Why it’s so hard to measure parenting

Part of the challenge is that parenting doesn’t have a standardized set of metrics—there are no benchmarks to say, “You’re nailing it!” There are so many dimensions: your own stress levels, your child’s development and temperament, your happiness and ability to stay present.

And while there’s no universal roadmap, a friend of mine recently came up with an idea that shifted my perspective. She wanted a simple way to keep herself accountable for spending quality time with each of her kids. So, she wore a bracelet on each wrist, one for each child. Every time she spent intentional, one-on-one time with one of them, she’d move that child’s bracelet to the other wrist. By the end of the day, she could see—without needing an app or a journal—that she’d been present for each of her kids.

I loved this idea. A small gesture, but it gave her that immediate feedback. At the end of each day, she could look down and see that she had shown up in a meaningful way. And while quality time is just one aspect of parenting, it got me thinking: What if we took this a step further?

A new approach for peace of mind

Imagine a simple scorecard, just a few questions you could reflect on at the end of each day. Not to grade yourself, but to give yourself peace of mind and help you focus on what matters most. It wouldn’t be about perfection but about clarity—knowing where you’re making an impact and where you might want to lean in a little more.

Here are some core areas that could make up this “scorecard”:

1. One-on-One Quality Time with Each Child
   Quality time is foundational, building trust, self-esteem, and emotional security. Even a few minutes of undivided attention can make a difference. Harvard University describes the 'serve and return' approach, where interactions go back and forth, like a game of ping pong.

2. Reinforcing Family Values
   Our core values—like kindness, resilience, or honesty—are traits we hope our kids will carry into adulthood but they won’t show up on their own. Simple, everyday conversations or actions that reinforce these values are powerful.

3. Teaching Life Skills
   Life skills, from managing emotions to handling responsibilities, build independence and confidence. These don’t have to be formal lessons—everyday tasks often offer perfect opportunities.

4. Managing Parental Stress
   Parental stress directly affects our children’s behavior, according to many research studies. Having a way to check in on our mental health regularly can help us stay calm and create a more positive environment.

Putting it into practice

Here’s a quick way to put this into action. Once a week, take 2 minutes to reflect on these questions based on the core areas we discussed:

• Did I spend quality one-on-one time with each of my kids this week?

• Did I reinforce a family value in our interactions?

• Did I help teach or reinforce a life skill this week?

• How would I rate my stress level this week? Did I find ways to manage it?

This isn’t about perfection—just a chance to connect with the big picture and recognize the effort you’re putting in as a parent. At the end of each week, reflect on where you’re already succeeding and where a small shift might make a difference.

If you’d like me to be your parenting accountability buddy, reply to this email with your cell phone number and I’ll text you a reminder every week to check in!

Here’s to going into this week with a little more clarity, confidence, and connection.