When parenting feels like a chore

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That time when I was losing my mind

You’ve seen the commercials: parents beaming, kids laughing, everything perfectly in sync. It’s like a utopia of family life.

But in my reality? I’m standing in my kitchen, one kid whining that they’re hungry, another one asking for help with homework, and yet another one who just said a bad word.

I just yelled at my kids. My head is pounding. My blood pressure is surely through the roof. And all I want is five minutes alone to breathe.

But instead, I’m staring at this endless list of things to do: finish making dinner, clean up this mess, respond to that forgotten text, make sure Zara practices piano…

The list
keeps
piling
up.

Why does parenting feel like this?

Let’s start with a simple question: What’s the real goal of parenting? If your objective is to raise a well-rounded, kind, and capable human who’s ready to thrive as an adult, then not everything you do with your kids actually contributes to that.

Parenting feels like a chore because we’ve turned it into one. We do 43 tasks just before our kids leave home every morning and spend 2.5 hours per day helping family members. Somewhere along the line, we started adding so many things to our list that we think we should be doing. But are they really necessary? Are they even helping us raise better humans?

We’ve discussed before that parenting boils down to a few essentials:

• Ensuring their health and safety

• Teaching them life skills

• Instilling values

• Creating meaningful connections

But let’s be honest—so much of what we put on our to-do list has nothing to do with those core goals.

This past week alone, I found myself doing things I thought were part of being a good parent:

• Coordinating playdates and juggling schedules to make it happen

• Ordering random things on Amazon for the kids

• Signing them up for next season’s sport

• Nagging them to practice piano or read when we were all just exhausted

But here’s the kicker: none of those things are truly essential. I’m doing them because I feel like I should. Maybe because everyone else is, or because I’m worried my kids will somehow fall behind if they don’t have these experiences.

Yet, when I look back on my week, I realize I didn’t prioritize the things that really matter, like:

• Uninterrupted one-on-one time where they can tell me about their day.

• Listening without distractions (putting the phone down, turning off the TV).

• Checking in on their emotions after something big or important

• Simply playing together—whether it’s a board game, tossing a football, or just being silly.

And guess what? Those things didn’t happen.

Your kids won’t remember the extras

Your son won’t remember if he had the perfect themed birthday party. Your daughter won’t care if you cut her sandwiches into fun shapes. Your youngest won’t notice if their toys were always neatly organized.

But they will remember if you were there for them when they needed you. They’ll remember those small moments when you were truly present.

How to scrap the parenting to-do list

Let’s simplify this. Instead of filling your to-do list with should-dos that just stress you out, focus on the must-do things that actually matter.

Your personal Must-Do list:

1. Non-Negotiables

• 🗓️ Schedule 1-on-1 time with each kid (let them pick the activity)

• 👨‍🍳 Teach one life skill (cooking, tying shoes, budgeting)

2. Basic Needs

• ❤️ Emotional check-in (ask how they’re really feeling)

• 🚶‍♂️ Outdoor time (get out and move)

• 📚 Review homework (or talk about a school project)

3. Connection & Play

• 📵 Family time (dinner, board game, or just hang out)

• 🎨 Unstructured playtime (let them get bored and creative)

• 🤗 Physical connection (hug, cuddle, or play wrestle)

A Final Thought

Imagine if your week was filled with meaningful moments with your kids rather than a pile of chores you think you should be doing. You’d be less overwhelmed, less exhausted, and more focused on what truly matters.

Let’s stop trying to live up to that picture-perfect image of parenting and get back to what’s real: raising good humans who know they’re loved.

Here’s to a simpler, more joyful week ahead.