Research shows: It's all about quality time

Many of us are physically present with our kids but mentally checked out. Or we find ourselves going through the motions of the daily grind—meals, school runs, bedtimes—feeling like something’s missing.

One of the biggest challenges I hear from parents, especially dads is that they have a hard time being present.

Today, we’ll explore:

• Why quality time is more important than quantity.

• How to make even the most chaotic parts of your day count.

• A simple before-and-after look at transforming mundane moments into meaningful connections.

Let’s dive in.

The problem isn’t time — it’s how we use it

Let’s be real: modern life is hectic. We juggle work, household duties, and parenting, often feeling like there’s no time left to truly connect with our kids. The truth is, though, parents today are spending more time than ever with their children. In fact, the time dads spend with their kids has tripled since the 1970s.

However, the same research shows that “the sheer amount of time spent with children between the ages of 3 and 11 has little impact on their long-term development.”

It’s how we use that time that matters most.

The 5 types of quality time

Let’s break down the five essential ways to create quality time with your kids:

Emotional Attunement: This is all about being present and tuned into your child’s feelings. For instance, if they seem frustrated or sad, pause and ask, “What’s on your mind?” Responding to their emotions builds a stronger connection.

• When to do it: Anytime.

One-on-one Time: Take 5–10 minutes of focused time with no distractions. You don’t need an hour—just five minutes of your undivided attention, asking them about their day or sharing something fun together.

• When to do it: Right after work or after dinner.

Open Communication: Encourage your child to express their thoughts freely. Active listening shows that you value their opinions, which strengthens your bond.

• When to do it: During car rides or bedtime.

Role Modeling: Kids absorb everything you do. Demonstrate the values you want to pass on, whether it’s kindness, respect, or patience. This isn't just about the "big talks"—it’s about everyday actions.

• When to do it: Anytime! Especially during daily routines like running errands or interacting with others.

Shared Experiences: These are larger chunks of time—like weekend activities or outings—that allow for active interaction. Whether it’s cooking together or working on a project, shared activities foster teamwork and deepen your connection.

• When to do it: Weekends or free evenings.

Building moments into your schedule

Here’s how a typical day with your kids can shift from routine tasks to moments of quality time with just a few small changes:

The bottom line: quality over quantity

We need to shift our mindset from thinking we need to spend every waking moment with our kids to realizing that how we spend time matters more.

By focusing on quality moments, we can have a profound impact on our own well-being and, as a result, our children’s emotional and mental health.