Am I doing this all wrong?

I recently stayed with a friend and got a front-row seat to how they interact with their kids.

And honestly? I was stunned.

Their 5-year-old was calm, patient, and polite. He said “please” and “thank you” without being reminded. He cleaned up his toys after playing—without being asked. You wouldn’t even know there were kids in the house.

I immediately thought of my own kids back home. There’s always a ball flying through the house. I repeat myself 1,000 times before anything gets done. The floor? A minefield of Legos and socks. And sometimes, I have to hide my face in embarrassment when one of my kids dashes off without a proper greeting.

For a moment, I thought: I’m totally doing this parenting thing wrong.

(Even more ironic, considering I’m building a company to help parents.)

I sat with that feeling for a while. Luckily, I had a six-hour flight home to process it.

Every family is a snowflake

After some reflection (and candy), I realized something important: every family is completely unique.

Just like snowflakes, no two families will ever have the same experience. Consider all the factors that shape a family’s dynamic:

• How you were raised

• Your values

• Socioeconomic status

• Cultural influences

• Where you live

• The number of kids you have

• Your child’s personality, neurodivergence, or behavioral makeup

• Your work status and flexibility

• Your priorities as a family

...the list goes on.

All these factors influence how you parent, what you emphasize, and even what your daily life looks like.

Some families raise their kids to be mini-adults, with an emphasis on responsibility and structure. Others lean into adventure and exploration—go explore, kid, and let me know if you start bleeding! Some don’t have the luxury of being overly intentional because they’re just trying to get food on the table.

And here’s the thing: we all know and love families in every one of these situations.

No one has it all figured out

The craziest part? No one actually has it all together.

What you see from the outside is never the full picture. That “perfect” family? Their challenges might not be visible to you. The well-behaved child? You don’t see the tantrums at bedtime.

We already know that social media is a highlight reel, but even in real life, we’re only seeing a fraction of someone’s reality.

Some parents are figuring out boundaries. Some are struggling with routines. Some are navigating big, complicated issues they never talk about.

It’s so easy to fall into the comparison trap. But I beg you—don’t.

Because the truth is: we’re all just writing our own family story. And yours isn’t meant to look like anyone else’s.

What to do instead

Instead of spending your limited energy on comparison, try this:

→Define what matters most to your family. What do you value? What kind of family culture do you want to create? Focus on that. Here’s one of my prior posts to get you started.

→Be intentional with your time. If you care about connection, schedule 1:1 time with your kids. If you care about adventure, plan outings. Let your priorities drive your actions. Here are some cool things other parents are doing.

→Remind yourself that no one gets it 100% right. That parent you admire? They struggle too. That kid who seems perfect? They have meltdowns too. You’re doing better than you think.

At the end of the day, your family is yours. And that’s exactly how it should be.