Mother's Day is broken

Everyone doesn’t do it?

Growing up, I had family spread across the globe in India, Australia, Singapore, England. It meant a lot of long flights, a lot of jet lag, and the chance to experience how different cultures live, celebrate, and connect.

It’s something I feel incredibly lucky for. Being exposed to other ways of doing life made me question a lot of the things we just assume are “normal” in the U.S.

Like holidays.

I still remember being in India one February and realizing they didn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. No classroom card exchanges, no heart-shaped candy with phrases that were arguably inappropriate for second graders. Just… another day.

And not just Valentine’s. No Mother’s Day, no Father’s Day either. At the time (this was around 2000), I was baffled. Weren’t these global traditions?

Turns out—they weren’t. At least not originally.

The founder quit her own ‘movement’

The woman who founded Mother’s Day in the U.S. actually ended up hating it.

Anna Jarvis started a movement in the early 1900s to honor her own mother, who had spent her life supporting other women and mothers. Anna’s goal was simple: create a day to recognize the unpaid labor and emotional weight carried by moms. At the time, most public recognition was reserved for male achievements, so this was her way of saying, “Hey, women matter too!”

Her campaign worked. In 1914, President Woodrow Wilson made Mother’s Day an official holiday.

But not long after, Anna watched it become everything she never intended. Companies jumped on the opportunity to sell flowers, cards, candy, and gifts. The day shifted from meaningful recognition to consumer pressure.

She fought back publicly.
She organized protests.
Filed lawsuits.
Spent her own money trying to undo the holiday she’d created.

She believed buying stuff wasn’t the point.

Fast forward to today: Americans are expected to spend over $34 billion this year on Mother’s Day.

And in many countries, women feel like they are celebrating the day because they have to:

So… Anna may have had a point.

We don’t need more $hit

Personally, I get it. I’ve got nothing against a thoughtful gift or brunch reservation. But the pressure to buy something or to perform a perfect Mother’s Day misses the mark.

Most moms I know aren’t looking for more flowers or spa kits.

They want rest.
To not be in charge for a day.
To feel seen.
Appreciated.
Like their daily grind is acknowledged, not just on some second Sunday in May but regularly.

What to do instead

If you want to make the mom in your life feel special, don’t default to whatever Instagram is pushing. Instead, get a little more intentional.

Start with her love language. (If you haven’t read The 5 Love Languages, it's a great place to begin.). In summary, Love Languages are five distinct ways people give and receive love—words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch.

For me, I’m acts of service and quality time.

Based on what brings the mom in your joy consider these ideas:

• Words of Affirmation: A real, thoughtful note about what you admire in her as a parent and partner.

• Acts of Service: Take on her invisible workload for the weekend. Laundry, meals, logistics, handle it!

• Receiving Gifts: If you go this route, make it personal. Something handmade or tied to a shared memory.

• Quality Time: Plan an activity she enjoys, and be fully present for it. Phones down.

• Physical Touch: Simple things like a back rub, a hug, holding hands while walking can go a long way.

Sometimes, the best way to show love isn’t with a gift. It’s with thoughtfulness, curiosity, and presence.

To all the mamas in this community, happy mother’s day today and every day. Do whatever makes you happy tomorrow!