5 hats every dad wears

Remember the moment you became a parent? You were probably in awe of it all—and also quietly freaking out about how to keep this tiny human alive. Most of the initial focus was likely on survival mode: food, sleep, diapers, repeat.

But as time goes on, you realize that your role isn’t just about keeping them fed and safe. Nope, fatherhood is a multi-layered, ever-evolving adventure. Every stage of your child’s development unlocks new needs and, like a Swiss Army knife, you’ve got to pull out different tools for different situations.

Today, we’re diving into the many roles you embody as a dad—and how to keep up with all of them without losing your mind.

My own experience turning to my dad

When I think back to my own dad, two phases stand out.

Phase 1: The Playmate.
Growing up as an only child (at least for the first decade), my dad was the goofy, comic-drawing, joke-cracking playmate. He was the kind of dad who would play boardgames with you and sit on the sofa playing games.

Phase 2: The Teacher.
As I got older and school became more serious, my dad switched gears. He was the guy I went to for math homework help, spouting off facts about the most random topics (seriously, how did he know all this stuff?). He became my go-to for knowledge.

Now, as an adult, I see him in a third role:

The Mentor. He’s always in my corner, trusting that I’ll make the right decisions. While I might not go to him for every life decision, I know he is there if I need him.

The Lesson: My dad didn’t need to wear all the hats. He leaned into the roles that suited him best, and that was more than enough.

The Roles You’re Already Playing

Whether you realize it or not, you’re constantly switching hats as a dad. It’s part of what makes fatherhood both exhilarating and, let’s be honest, exhausting. One minute you’re a coach, the next you’re a teacher, and then somehow you’re playing the role of detective trying to figure out where all the missing socks went.

Here are the key roles you’re likely navigating every day:

The Teacher

As a dad, you’re not just teaching subjects like math or science. You’re showing your kids how to navigate life. Whether it’s how to cook your famous spaghetti or how to cross the street without panicking, your job goes beyond the classroom. Think Phil Dunphy from Modern Family, a relatable dad-as-teacher who uses everyday situations to teach life skills and lessons.

The Coach

You don’t have to coach your kid’s flag football team to be their coach (though bonus points if you do). In everyday moments, you’re helping them reach their goals—whether it’s climbing that big tree at the park or tackling their first science project. Think Coach Taylor of Friday Night Lights.

The Mentor

As a mentor, you’re the sounding board when your child needs advice. It’s less about telling them what to do and more about guiding them through their own decision-making process. It’s the long game—offering support through the big stuff like friendships, values, and relationships. Just like Mufasa in The Lion King, you’re there to provide wisdom and help them find their path, while letting them grow.

The Friend

Remember when you used to get down on the floor and play with toy trains or wear that princess tiara like a champ? Keep that spirit alive! As your child grows, your role as a friend means engaging with their interests—even if it means learning the names of all 151 Pokémon (because there’s always a new one). Think Danny Tanner from Full House—always there to listen, laugh, and bond.

The Role Model

Think Uncle Phil from The Fresh Prince—the ultimate moral compass. This might be the most overlooked role, but it’s arguably the most important. Your kids are watching everything you do, from how you talk to strangers to how you handle stress. They’re soaking it all in, whether you’re aware of it or not. If you’re dismissive or short-tempered, don’t be surprised if your child mirrors those habits. But if you show kindness and patience, they’ll carry that with them too.

How to Manage All These Roles (Without Losing Your Sanity)

Juggling all these roles can feel overwhelming, but here’s the good news: you don’t have to be perfect. The goal isn’t to master every role but to show up consistently and be adaptable.

Here’s how to make it work:

• Lean into your strengths. Some roles will come naturally (maybe you’re a natural coach, but the whole “friend” thing feels awkward). If you find one role challenging, look to a friend who excels in it for inspiration.

• Ask your child what they need. Want to know the easiest way to figure out what role to play? Just ask! Sometimes, kids can give you surprising insight into what they need from you at any given moment.

• Celebrate the small wins. Whether it’s a five-minute chat at the dinner table or sharing a goofy moment in the car, these small moments matter more than you think.

Ultimately, being a dad means wearing many hats and switching between them as needed. And while it may feel chaotic at times, it’s also what makes your role so special.

So remember: Your child doesn’t need you to be perfect—they just need you to be there.